#10 LAMOTHE

JIMMY! It is really only after I did the analysis I noticed just how much Lamothe has been ripping it up.. here's his line in the last 3 games:

Holy shit! I don't know what cream you've been using to jerk off, but whatever it is keep it coming!

Goat of the Week: Rone # I don't know anymore because Rone lost his jersey!

Though we have seen worst droughts in the season by other players (ME!), given the position Rone has in the batting order and our many one-run losses over the course of the season, this 0-9 drought during the last 3 games has merited this knock..

What really guaranteed it for Rone was the two Ks versus that less than mediocre pitcher on Sunday versus the Spos. I guess the bid was not very high this last 3 games...

Pick it up Rone!!

#32 RONE

Though these honors were somewhat tough, I have to give the MVP of the Week to Rone. His line was awesome: 3 for 3 with a BB including a 2B and 3B, 4 R and 3 RBIs. He was hitting the ball amazingly in his 3 spot giving us many opportunities to score runs. He seems to be turning his erroneous hits into belts and all I have to say to that is --- BIDDAY BIDDAY!!!

Goat of the Week: Joltin' Joe #33

I think I explained it well enough in the update of July 7th – so refer to that!!!!

MVP of the Year 2007

#9 LE FEROCE

Hands down, Fern. A mix of offense, defense, and general effort put into every game makes this decision very easy. To sum, Fern was one of our best hitters, leading in OBP, Fern was our best baserunner, leading the team with 40 stolen bases, and he was our best defensive player with as our best second basemen and shortstop, and close second pitcher. To sum, here is Fern's line for the season as well as his placement among the team:

And, to finally show how committed and dedicated Fern was to winning, he actually sacrificed himself the last game to try and potentially save the game on the last out. Talk about dedication - I tip my hat to Fern, Morue, Cod, Cod Fisherman, Cod Killer, Le Feroce, c'est le gros boss, des becosses!

Most Improved of the Year 2007

#00 Tawma

Tawma did it, and did it big this season especially compared to last season and the season before that. He batted well, batted hard, played some third base and generally just put the bat on the ball. He finally earned his cleanup position, and though he did struggle a little bit in the beginning of the season, he picked it up in a big way towards the mid-to-end of the season. Here is the comparison chart for Tawma from 2006 to 2007:

Goat of the Year (Offense): Season 2007

#4 Nick

Dam Nick, it was not your year for offense. You had a total of one hit all season... ONE! And though we tend to see that alot in Chossers reserve players because they suck and they only show up to 3 games, you made it to thirteen games and had a total of 25 at-bats! Nick, you and I know you can do better than a .040 AVG and .111 OBP. NIIIIIICKKKKKK!!! :)

Goat of the Year (Defense): Season 2007

#27 R. Gnome

Rob... I must say defense was not your strength this season. Sure, it was your first season of baseball for who knows how long, and you did play positions that are error prone, but 12 errors in 16 games... that's pretty anus. In fact, to put it in perspective, you now are tied for second all time for total errors! Considering how bad our team was season 1, that's pretty shameful!!! You understand now why I would make you sit on the bench alot! Hey, you get to realizing at a certain point (as I did) that certain positions are just not made for us, I guess 2B is one of those positions with you!

#9 LE FEROCE

Finally! For the amount of time, sweat, blood and semen, Fern has been on the team, I think its about fucking time. Sure, this probably wasn't his most outstanding performance, but with all things considered, he went 1-1 w/ a R and right now leads the team in BA, OBP, OPS, steals, runs and even freaking Hit By Pitches with Zigs and Tawma! Plus, he contributes greatly to our defense both in pitching and in the infield and, in general, I think with Fern being there, our team generally plays alot better. So here's to Le Feroce!

Keep it up !

Goat of the Week: #8 ZIGS

Though his offensive performance was good going 1 for 3,  I think what tipped the scale were the two costly errors he made in the first inning. Again, it is only his 5th game and Zigs is still finding his groove, which only tells me that shit is only going to get better. But, in the meantime, enjoy the fabulous hat next week Zigs-O-Rigs!

IAN

After a long wait, Ian has gotten his first hit of the year! I think that after all the line drives that were either caught or called as an error, and all the swinging and missing on high balls, Ian defiinitely deserves to be MVP of the Week!!!

Keep it up !

Goat of the Week: #27 ROB

Though many players had horrible weeks, given your offensive performance the last few games, I would have to give the Goat of the Week to you. You went 0-2 with 2 Ks, and had 2 errrors.

Anyway, I figured this would be an amazing waking up you and your bat in a LaRussa / Pujols type of way - so I pretty much expect you to have 4 homeruns in your next 12 at bats --- so get to work !!!

#33 Joltin' Joe

Yes, I get to name myself MVP of the Week (and you wondered why I was in a good mood!) Ok, ok - first thought on everyone's minds, how could you name yourself MVP of the week. Well, just for your information, I have yet to be named MVP of the week (that's also true for Fern as well). So, yeah, I would think its about fucking time!!!

But seriously, here are my analyses from the 'Spos game and the last three games:

'Spos game: 2 for 3; 2B; 2 Rs; 1 RBI
Last three games: 6 for 10; 5 Rs; 5 RBIs.

Being the team player I am, this is not bring me much joy as of the three games I actually played well, we only won one. So, all I'm gonna say is I'm going to continue bringing it, and hope everyone else will do the same.

Goat of the Week: ALBINO

All in all, the Chossers had a horrible game versus the Spos on that black day, June 23rd. But, when it is all said and done, there can only be one goat (unless of course you have yet to get a hit!). So Matt, though our team played like garbage, you were the really smelly part of that garbage, you know like the rotten meat. Here's your line:

Spos game: 0 for 3; 1 K; 1 E.

Not to worry though, you usually bring out strong offensive numbers, so I  expect to see some much greater performances in the future. All in all, for a rookie, you have been playing surprisingly well for the season.

#00 Tawma

Tawma did it! Very strong weekend for 'Le Grand' (I hate that name). He went 3 for 5 with 2 long bomb doubles - probably both rank as the best hits of the season - and 2 R. With all that offense, Tawma brought his AVG up from a crappy .211 to a respectable .292. Keep doing it Tawma !!

Goat of the Week: Ian #13

Given that there was no stand-out goat, by default, given that he is the only one without a hit yet, Ian has earned his second goat of the week nomination. Nick got his first hit of the season versus a good Pirates pitcher, and Zigs, after only his second game, got his first hit versus the Fat Cats. That leaves only you Ian! You've been unlucky, and clearly the 0 for 13 in my eyes is just a slump. So, let's see you get out of that slump versus the Spos.

#10 Lamothe

I must say I am truly impressed with Lamothe's performance these last three games. I don't know if its because he got laid, or if he found a new technique for his hmm (I'll let you guys think of that), but whatever he's been doing, it's been working! Here is a summary of his offensive performance the last three games:

.700 (7 for 10) ; 7 RBIs; 2 R

Not to mention, he pitched 5 solid innings versus the Mariners. Good job JIMMY! (I suddenly feel like Rone)

Goat of the Week: Ian and Nick #4

.000 BA. You guys have yet to get a hit and after 6 games, it needs to be mentioned. So for the first time in Chossers history, we had to award two goats. You should be ashamed of yourselves! Even though you are overdue, I'm confident its coming soon guys -- don't forget see the ball, hit the ball! And Ian, LAY OFF THE HIGH ONES!!

#32 Rone

I really can't believe Rone has finally won an MVP of the Week. Does it make any sense? Really not. But hey, he's been playing some good ball and I think after all this time, he definitely deserves it. Even though the doubleheader was two lost causes, and he went 0-3 against the 'Spos, Rone got a triple (erroneous inside the park homerun) to tie the game and showed he can do really well in the clutch and he also played a very solid defensive game with several catches in the infield and the outfield. So, all I can say is, BIDDAY-BIDDAY!!!!

Goat of the Week: P-RO #13

This has been a strange week for MVPs and Goats, I probably have awarded the opposite of what I'm awarding right now several times before. But in the funkiest of ways, P-Ro, you are the goat for the week. Given your usual performance, career numbers and your supposed p-rolificness, you have been definitely slumping. Here's P-Ro's line for the last three games;

T1 for 7; 0 R; 1 RBI; 3 Ks.

I know P-Ro has just got to get in his groove, and maybe change his bat, and everything will go back to the way they are supposed to. So, I will definitely looking forward to seeing P-Ro rip it up in the coming weeks. Let's go P-RO!

#10 Lamothe

I must say I am truly impressed with Lamothe's performance these last three games. I don't know if its because he got laid, or if he found a new technique for his hmm (I'll let you guys think of that), but whatever he's been doing, it's been working! Here is a summary of his offensive performance the last three games:

.700 (7 for 10) ; 7 RBIs; 2 R

Not to mention, he pitched 5 solid innings versus the Mariners. Good job JIMMY! (I suddenly feel like Rone)

Goat of the Week: Ian and Nick #4

.000 BA. You guys have yet to get a hit and after 6 games, it needs to be mentioned. So for the first time in Chossers history, we had to award two goats. You should be ashamed of yourselves! Even though you are overdue, I'm confident its coming soon guys -- don't forget see the ball, hit the ball! And Ian, LAY OFF THE HIGH ONES!!

#2 Bubba

I think this is a first nomination for the BBBB (Big Bad Booty Bubba). The fact is, Bubba probably had the best offensive weekend of his career, and it came at the right time. Just to give an idea he went, 3 for 4, batted in 3 runs, and scored 2. Not too shabby! Keep the booty going Bubs!

Goat of the Week: Le Grand #00

Though he wasn't the only one without a hit this weekend and is definitely not the only one struggling offensively, given the position he was batting in the order, and the amount we expect from him, I would have give the goat to Tawma. Nevertheless, I know the performance will improve - in fact, he has been hitting the batting cages. So, it'll be nice to see TAWMA DO IT against the Mariners on Saturday..

K-Man

Though it was very difficult decision considering we had alot of players play some pretty damn good ball, I have to give it to the K-Man. Though the hitting wasn't to par, going 0 for 2 with 2 Ks, your pitching was great. Just to give an idea of his pitching line for Saturday's game:

5 IPs, 4 Hs, 11 Ks, 1 BB

Didn't take us too much time to figure out your nickname. Keep it up, OSTI!

Goat of the Week: Joltin' Joe #33

Fuck, do I hate having to write in the third person. Well, I'd like to think I got it out of my system like a Grande combo of bean burritos at Taco Bell. The fact is I went 0-3 with 3Ks, and hardly made any type of contribution to the team. So, without further adue, MEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.).

#13 P-Ro

After doing some major calculating, I came up with the following offensive figures for P-Ro for the three games we had this week:

AVG : 700
OBP : .750
RBIS: 4
RUNS : 3

Hell of a way to end the season! Good job P! I can’t say your pitching was as good, though I did believe you had a decent week. But, the hitting is what we have needed these days and well, you did it and you did in the clutch. Too bad we couldn’t win any of those games. Just bring that momentum to the playoffs!

Goat of the Week: Rone #32

Rone is the goat of the week, what a surprise! Joking. Honestly Rone you really didn’t have that bad of a week for regular standards, and you got this ‘award’ more out of default than anything else. BUT, you did have a considerable amount of miscues on defense (because you played more defense) and your offensive performance did not measure up to what you’re supposed to be doing in your 3 spot (You batted .333 but only managed to cash in 1 runner, and score twice in three games). When comparing this to what you have been doing in the season, you deserve to be the goat of the week. Nonetheless, I know your erroneous ways will pay off sooner than later, and that you’ll have a strong performance in the playoffs (we’ll need you on the field!!).

#13 P-Ro

This award was given by default. There were no outstanding offensive performances, but considering the number of strikeouts those Fantasy fuckers got, and that P-Ro didn't get any (he went 1-3 with 2 RBIs), I would have to give it to P-Ro. His pitching didn't look good on paper but considering the hits they were getting, mostly texas leaguer, his performance was ok: in fact, I felt he had some nice stuff that day. So P-Ro here's your 3rd or 4th MVP of the week.

Goat of the Week: M.A.L. #58

Ca va MAL! I didn't think Marc was ever going to be the goat of the week. I guess it shows anyone can be a goat. Just some are goats more often than others and some are goats, ALL THE TIME. Ok little tangent there, back to the issue at hand. Yeh Marc's performance was bad for an average Chosser, and horrible for a M.A.L. He went 0-3 with 3 Ks and 1 BB, AND, he had an error. This is the player who leads our team in AVG. and OBP, and is batting second. Nonetheless, I consider this game a definite exception and I expect to see M.A.L. in full form for tomorrow's game vs. the Blues.

#3 Bazman

Though offensively there were some better performances, David had a solid game going 1-2 with 3 Runs & 2 RBIs. The improvement is great and, lets not forget to mention, he got his first outfield catch of his career, which was also the last crucial out (preventing a likely 3 runs) of the game.

Goat of the Week: P-Ro #93

Anyone can tell, P-Ro has had better games. Though he did drive to runs in, he went 0 (2) for 5, which is not cool for a cleanup hitter, and completely unusual for the slugging P-Ro, and his pitching performance was poor. Nevertheless, I won’t be making any modifications to the batting order or pitching rotation, as I consider this game an exception.

#1 Boss' Son

5 IPs, 1 ER, 5 H, 5 Ks and 1/2 w/ an RBI. Great game Reed, you've really been killing in terms of pitching the passed two games. Be ready for Saturday.

Goat of the Week: Zigs #8

I have two words for you Zigs: hat trick :P. (lots of picking on Zigs the last two emails, but at least you can be happy about one thing Zigs, you're #1 in HBP!!)